


Drunken Butler

by Shadow15



Category: Kuroshitsuji | Black Butler
Genre: Ciel is a Transvestite, Crack, Don't Ever Take Seriously, I Kind Of Want to Write More of This Now That I Read It Again, Parody, What were we thinking, absolute crack
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-24
Updated: 2020-08-24
Packaged: 2021-03-06 14:11:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 375
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26080171
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shadow15/pseuds/Shadow15
Summary: In a bar called Black Butler, all sorts of strange things happen, such as drunken butlers kicking people into doors, men who think they are dogs, a bouncer who more often than not sets patrons on fire with a flamethrower, among other things - such as neighbouring funeral homes decorated pink with flowers everywhere.
Kudos: 4





	Drunken Butler

When the bar called Black Butler first opened, it was quite a surprise for the owner of the bar to see a whole horde of people walk in through the entrance, all of them arguing over who would be served first. It was quite a surprise to watch the argument soon turn into a fistfight, just like something out of a cartoon. 

There was Sebastian, a butler who served a transvestite named Ciel, and who was always the one to become the drunkest in the least amount of time; it was quite amusing to watch him kick Lizzy, the street punk, into the door whenever she got too close with her screamo music blaring out of her headphones. 

Tanaka, an old man who seemed to be part of the transvestite’s servants, was always in a corner getting stoned with random people, small “Ho... ho... ho...”s making their way out of his mouth. 

Finny, a blond who was gay, was always trying to pick up with people – and more often than not was shot down. 

Baldroy was a bouncer at the bar, a war vet who seemed to have issues with cooking and setting said cooking area on fire, mostly through methods that caused preceding explosions. In hindsight, someone should really take his flamethrower away from him – it was too much of an effort chasing down patrons who were running around screaming while on fire.

Lao was the depressed bartender, and he was never seen without his shirt that says  _ I hart Lao.  _ How he had come across said shirt was never brought up as he would always burst into tears when mentioned. 

Pluto, for whatever reason, always came in with a lead attached to the collar around his neck, acting as if he were a dog. From this, it was enough to gather that Sebastian  _ hated  _ dogs as he had, on occasion, been spotted throwing darts at the poor species-confused man.

Soma, an Indian who believed himself a prince, was actually an illegal immigrant – why he was hanging with this bunch would forever be a mystery. 

While these were the main group who frequented the bar, their misadventures with acquaintances and enemies would forever be amusement for those who were unlucky enough to witness. 


End file.
